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World's Best Sardarji Jokes

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin. Again
had twins & named Peter & Repeater. Again twins &
named Max & Climax.Again the same.
Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!

Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs
tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he
does this. Sardar: "I've been promoted as branch
manager."

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... we still have one engine left." A sardarji passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"


Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home. Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."


Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour, new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.


What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.


What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you? Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.


Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning blazes?
He thinks his picture is being shot.


Why does Sardarji have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.


Having lost his donkey Sardarji, got down
to his knees and thanked God.
A passerby saw this and asked,
"Your donkey is missing. What are you thanking God for?"
Sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that
I wasn't riding the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would have been missing too."


Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth certificate. "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" "
Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."


Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!"
"Woof!" (barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"


Santa with two red ears went to see his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears. "I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang. Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called again."


Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions hisfather.
"Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half
the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent. "
Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question,
"Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from
1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father,
"Dad,today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old.


Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper,and Santa used his
last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.Banta singh thought
it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but
knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all.". He
unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"


Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he had fared. He replied, "Exam was okay, except for the past tense of 'think'. I thought, thought, thought and at last, I wrote 'thunk'!"

Godse is often a misunderstood character. He is referred to as a Hindu fanatic. It is often hard to understand Godse because the Government of India had suppressed information about him. His court statements, letters etc. were all banned from the public until recently. Judging from his writings one thing becomes very clear - He was no fanatic. His court statements are very well read out and indicate a calm and collected mental disposition. He never even once speaks ill about Gandhi as a person, but only attacks Gandhi’s policies which caused ruin and untold misery to Hindus. Another interesting point to note is that Godse had been working with the Hindu refugees fleeing from Pakistan. He had seen the horrible atrocities committed on them. Many women had their hands cut off, nose cut off, even little girls had been raped mercilessly. Despite this Godse did not harm even single Muslim in India which he could easily have. So it would be a grave mistake to call him a Hindu fanatic.

Let us start by studying the motive behind Godse’s act. By seeing the nature of the assassination in public space and Godse’s act of turning himself over to the Police, we can see that Godse did not do this for personal reasons. He very well knew that he would be hanged and his name would be disgraced as Gandhi was considered a saint. And again Godse could have ran away and escaped punishment. But he did the reverse. He called a police officer and courted arrest. Before we proceed it would be wise to understand the backdrop of the assassination.

The central government had taken a decision — Pakistan will not be given Rs 55 crores. On January 13 Gandhi started a fast unto death that Pakistan must be given the money. On January 13, the central government changed its earlier decision and announced that Pakistan would be given the amount. On January 13, Nathuram decided to assassinate Gandhi.

Nathuram Godse was a learned man, very sharp and intelligent - editor of “Agrani” (one of the most famous newspaper of that time - with Nana Aapte). In his last editorial of “Agrani” which he changed overnight - he said “Gandhi must be stopped - at any cost” and he justified why Gandhiji’s assassination was not only inevitable but also a delayed action, sth tht shud’ve happened LONG AGO.

In Nathuram’s words - “ I don’t refute Gandhi’s theory of non-violence. He may be a saint but he is not a politician. His theory of non-violence denies self-defence and self-interest. The non-violence that defines the fight for survival as violence is a theory not of non-violence but of self-destruction.The division of the nation was an unnecessary decision. What was the percentage of the Muslim population as compared to the population of the nation? There was no need for a separate nation. Had it been a just demand, Maulana Azad would not have stayed back in India. But because Jinnah insisted and because Gandhi took his side, India was divided, in spite of opposition from the nation, the Cabinet. An individual is never greater than a nation.

In a democracy you cannot put forward your demands at knife-point. Jinnah did it and Gandhi stabbed the nation with the same knife. He dissected the land and gave a piece to Pakistan. We did picket that time but in vain. The Father of our Nation went to perform his paternal duties for Pakistan! Gandhi blackmailed the cabinet with his fast unto death. His body, his threats to die are causing the destruction — geographical as well as economical — of the nation. Today, Muslims have taken a part of the nation, tomorrow Sikhs may ask for Punjab. The religions are again dividend into castes, they will demand sub-divisions of the divisions. What remains of the concept of one nation, national integration? Why did we fight the British in unison for independence? Why not separately? Bhagat Singh did not ask only for an independent Punjab or Subhash Chandra Bose for an independent Bengal?

I am going to assassinate him in the open, before the public, because I am going to do it as my duty. If I do it surreptitiously, it becomes a crime in my own eyes. I will not try to escape, I will surrender and naturally I will be hanged. One assassination, one hanging. I don’t want two executions for one assassination and I don’t want your involvement, participation or company. (This was for Nana-Apte and Veer Savarkar as they were against ghandhi’s policies too, Godse wanted to assassinate gandhi all by himself and took promise from Nana Apte that he will continue helping Veer Savarkar in rebuilding India as a strong free nation.)

On January 30, I reached Birla Bhavan at 12 pm. Gandhi was sitting outside on a cot enjoying the sunshine. Vallabhbhai Patel’s granddaughter was sitting at his feet. I had the revolver with me. I could have assassinated him easily then, but I was convinced that his assassination was to be a punishment and a sentence against him, and I would execute him. I wanted witnesses for the execution but there were none. I did not want to escape after the execution as there was not an iota of guilt in my mind. I wanted to surrender, but surrender to whom? There was a good crowd to collect for the evening prayers. I decided on the evening of January 30 as the date for Gandhi’s execution.

Gandhi climbed the steps and came forward. He had kept his hands on the shoulders of the two girls. I wanted just three seconds more. I moved two steps forward and faced Gandhi. Now I wanted to take out the revolver and salute him for whatever sacrifice and service he had made for the nation. One of the two girls was dangerously close to Gandhi and I was afraid that she might be injured in the course of firing. As a precautionary measure I went one more step ahead, bowed before him and gently pushed the girl away from the firing line. The next moment I fired at Gandhi. Gandhi was very weak, there was a feeble sound like ‘aah’ (There are proof that Gandhi did NOT say “Hey Raam” at that time - it’s just made up stuff ) from him and he fell down.

After the firing I raised my hand holding the revolver and shouted, ‘Police, police’. For 30 seconds nobody came forward and I scanned the crowd. I saw a police officer. I signalled to him to come forward and arrest me. He came and caught my wrist, then a second man came and touched the revolver… I let it go…”

Forgotten Heros: [Veer Savarkar, Lala lajpatrai, Subhashchandra Bose, Bhagatsingh, Rajguru, Tansirani, Shivaji, Rana Pratap and thousands of other freedom fighters]

Dirty politicians will only teach us only about gandhi and one sided ahimsa.

Next Blog entry will be The  Naturam Godse's speech in the court.